Online dating has become one of the most popular ways to meet potential partners. Dating applications such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge allow everyone to swipe right, making it incredibly easy to meet new people. With such sheer volume of encounters come a multitude of stories that often end by someone getting ghosted. Furthermore, new words are emerging. Benching: When someone is on the fence about a potential suitor, but instead of getting rid of them, they’ll keep their options open and would put them on the ‘bench’ – where there might be several others waiting. Bread-crumbing is leaving a trail of short but flirtatious messages for a potential date without having any intention of starting a relationship. Cushioning is someone with a new partner who keeps several other option on the backburner — just in case the main relationship goes south. “Cloaking” is like “Ghosting”, but much worse. Cloaking is when a person doesn’t just stand you up for a planned date, they also block you on all social media platforms that they follow you on.
Our first online dating story comes from a blogger named Rachel Thompson who invented the term “cloaking”. She matched with Matthew on Hinge and they really hit it off quite well. He asked her out on a date Thursday night to an Italian restaurant called Padella in London.
As Thursday night came along, she arrived at the restaurant and messaged him letting him know she has arrived. After about a half hour, Rachel checked her Whatsapp, where she had messaged him, and realized that her messages weren’t delivering. When she tried to iMessage him, the messages were sending as green rather than blue. She then opened Hinge, the dating app where they had met, and saw that all of their flirty messages had been erased. Matthew was even gone from her list of matches.
Jessica began to worry about if her date was even showing up. She decided to stay and have a glass of wine while waiting another 20 minutes. Jessica began looking through her messages with Matthew to find anything that seemed suspicious.
She just could not figure out why she had been blocked in just a few hours when everything had been going so good. After searching for more clues, she found his Facebook profile. The next day, Jessica decided to message him and give him a piece of her mind. She did not think it was right of him to lead her out and waste her time, especially when she is a busy woman.
Even though Matthew never responded, Jessica felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulder after sending the message. As time went on, Jessica heard of many other stories of her friends experiencing being ghosted or cloaked when online dating. It is an inescapable experience in the online dating world, however everyone deserves an explanation nonetheless!
The next story is from an anonymous user who met a charming man on Tinder. Here she explains her story: “So I met this guy on Tinder and we really hit it off and were texting for months, on Skype and the phone every day. He lived in London and I lived in Toronto so it was a bit of a long distance thing. I visited him one weekend and things got really hot and heavy but he didn’t want to have sex because he “didn’t want to lose me.” I pushed him on what that meant but he didn’t really give me a straight answer. So as I was leaving he said “text me when you get home so I know you got home safe. So I get home, and text him, no reply. The next day I check and ask “Hows your day?” and no answer. A few days go by and I’m like “Hey, are you okay?” and no response. This guy had really expressed feelings for me so it was odd that he would just disappear. Fast forward MONTHS later out of boredom I set up a Kijiji ad that said “Free N-64 to whoever leaves me the best Taylor Swift impression voicemail” and left his number as the contact number (Because I’m petty AF). A few days later I sent him a Taylor Swift meme on Facebook and he was like THAT WAS YOU! Then he broke down and told me why he ghosted: He had become a Jehovah’s witness and thought I was too tempting, and also his ex had called him saying she had a secret abortion of his baby and he went into a deep depression and didn’t talk to anyone for months. Needless to say, I declined when he said he wanted to try things again.”
The third story is on the more positive side, which comes from Natasha. The following user was introverted and never believed in making any friends or being in any relationships. One day, his best friend, who happens to be quite a dating expert, suggested to find him an online date for Friday night. However, Natasha was very against this idea because she wanted to find her prince charming in a more romantic way. As the two best friends argued, they decided to try it out since Natasha had not had any luck finding any dates on her own. They made Natasha an account on Match.com. The following day, Natasha had a match with a charming man asking her out to dinner this weekend. She agreed, even though she felt uncomfortable when another person paid for her and took her out with the chance of getting ghosted, as it has happened to her before. The day of their date, she arrived 10 minutes early. He only arrived half an hour later. He apologised for being late, as he had gotten pulled over for speeding and the cop gave him a hard time. They ended up talking for hours and began to really like each other’s company. After seeing each other for over 2 years, they knew they were perfect for one another and got married. They ended up having a beautiful 6 month old daughter. Natasha hates to admit that she met her husband on an online dating website, but she is also extremely grateful for the day she put herself out there. She is now blessed with a beautiful family due to her date from Match.com.
This story is from the Twitter user @SingleintheSou1. After matching with a guy she bonded with over Football on Hinge, they exchanged phone numbers. They had planned to meet the following week, as they had not met yet. While they were texting, she got pretty upset over him mentioning he had been on a date the previous weekend…
She ended up ghosting him over the matter, which led to a debate over whether or not she was in the right or wrong.
He proceeds to question her about whether or not she was speaking to other guys. The debate on Twitter reveals that many users agree with the guy who got ghosted, due to the fact that people who are dating are allowed to date as many people as they want until they decide to get into a serious relationship. The text messages hold valid points defending this argument, such as the idea of speaking to multiple women in case one of them decides to ghost him.
The following online dating story is shared by an anonymous user. On the second meeting with her man, she invited him over to her house with the conditions that he would leave as soon as it got dark. When the sun set, the man did not leave and instead snuck around to finish a bottle of alcohol that was in his backpack. He began to slur his words and would not leave. As he was too drunk to use public transport, she tried to drive him home but he would not tell her the address. She demanded to see his wallet to look at his ID and get his address, but he pulled out a tin of Altoids instead. She believed that he was pretending to be drunk, until she finally got fed up and dropped him off at a Dicks in his neighborhood because he didn’t know where he lived and was only speaking nonsense. When he got out, he stumbled into the street and parking lot without looking. She went back home and realized that he forgot his backpack. She then finds his wallet with his ID, the death certificate of his child who had committed suicide, and some key papers. The next day, she brought him back his belongings and ended up giving him another chance. She still regrets it to this day.
This next story comes from a female Tinder member who is still fuming till this day. She started seeing this guy she met on Tinder and they ended up agreeing to be exclusive. All of a sudden, he just stopped texting her and she has absolutely no idea what she did wrong. As most girls would do, her and her friends stalked his social media accounts only to find a SEPARATE Instagram account.
This account exposed that he has a girlfriend and that they were together in Cuba at that very moment. Why would he ask her to be exclusive if he had another girlfriend?! She was absolutely blindsided but did not say a word. About a week after ghosting her, she received a text from him saying “I miss you” WHILE he was still on vacation with his girlfriend. She sent back a screenshot of his instagram account with his girlfriend and a “F*ck You” text, followed by blocking his accounts.
Finally, this last story is from the Twitter user BARTY. She has shared her most hilarious and also weirdest date experience. She had her first real date with this guy that she met online. They met on social media and in no time they began to know each other very well. After some days they planned to go for a movie on the coming weekend. The actual hilarious story begins here when they both reach exactly on time and soon realise that none of them had purchased the ticket in advance because of this reason they couldn’t manage to get two tickets next to each other. Finally they ended up sitting on the opposite sides of the theater. After the movie they did not ever meet again. Barty expresses this as her weirdest date she ever had.
Nowadays, online dating can be very unpredictable. Some online dates end in marriage and a beautiful family, while many others end in getting ghosted or even “cloaked”. Although many users prefer meeting a significant other in person at an event or out on a stroll, it cannot be ignored that online dating has facilitated the dating world and how we interact and meet compatible matches. Many people would agree that this is for the best, while many other users on Twitter share the same opinion that Online Dating Applications are actually ruining relationships. The reasoning behind this is that online dating users find it harder to settle down with one individual due to there being an abundance of other dating profiles waiting for them to swipe right if something doesn’t work out. Dating has never been easier, or harder as other users would say.